tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i think my cat just said my name.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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