Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
