: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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