You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
