he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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