dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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