you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Is it because I queefed?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
