Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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