Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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