I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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