Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
