Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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