Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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