So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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