Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Four minutes until I can fart!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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