I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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