hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize