OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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