whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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