My underwear smells like fireworks.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
