found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
