Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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