It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
