just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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