I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
