Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
