You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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