I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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