like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
