you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
When are your genitals available?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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