There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
