I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
