Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
