remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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