there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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