Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Acid is not a monday night drug
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
