god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
