Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I got inside last night via doggy door
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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