when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
