break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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