I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
