Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
