This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
