Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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