I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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