i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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