Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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