Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
