he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
