There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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