12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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