I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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