OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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