I faked an abortion last night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
