Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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