Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
