the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
His hands were made for my vagina.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
