Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
