i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
