Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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