put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
